| SWF, 25, looking for SWM, 25-45, must be tall, dark and tolerant of other men shoving $10 bills into my panties. English guys need not apply. | DWF seeking reclusive, enegmatic, sligthly obsessive, tall, brown eyed, sensitive, overly sexed, eager to be pleased, spiritual, man of leadership...for a meaningful and deeply sexually satisfying relationship...or, at the very least, a DAMN GOOD roll in the hay. |
| MWF 39, seeking a male, any age that will worship the ground I walk on to add to my male harem! Must be talented and physically "gifted" if you know what I mean....... | SWF, seeking another lone nut. Must enjoy Zapruder film, UFO watching and engrossing talks on the Warren Commission. Single bullet theorists need not apply. |
| SWF 23, heavily into piercing and giving oral pleasure seeking well hung single male to assist in my favorite pastime of sword swallowing :-D | 62 years young, MWM looking for someone to do the lawn and keep up with the incessant demands of my young wife. Must be able to take abuse about a variety of things, listen to lots of complaints, pretending to care about what she's saying and perform several times daily in the bedroom. Just keep her occupied and away from me.. |
| SWM seeks bald midget proctologist for tea and crumpets | Looking for soulmate. Must be packin', a healthy bank account and an incredible desire to please the princess bear (c'est moi) all required. Pre-nups okay. |
| SWF,25 seeks other SWF, 25, to take over her life and generally scare the shit out of her. Preferably a Bridget Fonda lookalike. Oh yeah, must have a puppy called Buddy. | SWM seeking dark and handsome man any age to be my "Lawrence of Arabia". Must not mind Camels or Ouds or watching me gyrate in my costumes as I do the Dance of the Seven Veils. Also if you do not fear my snake and enjoy living in a tent I will make your wildest fantasies of a 1001 nights come true. |
| SWM seeks Kangaroos for pleasure, but any animal will do. | SBF, 29, seeking furry blue monster named Cookie to bring me some chocolate chip cookies. |
| SWF, 21, seeks a man who is EVERYTHING: A marathon runner, a rock star, a genius, an internet millionaire, and has a huge cock! Will settle for nothing less. realistic@2die4.com | I wants a nice guy to takes me out, and to takes to bed when I's feels like it. Oh, an' he must smell real bad. |
| F seeking a man, any man for my poor "friend" in rural Americana. Age,weight,occupation,vital stats do not matter, iffen you are livin' an breathin' thats good enuf. She just needs to get laid and stop stalkin peoples. | MWF, 25, loooking for tall, Scottish hunk to take her away from everything. A Highland castle would be perfect, but will settle for nothing more than that sexy as hell accent. |
| To the MWF who wants a Scotsman: Will I do? Don't have the castle, but I do have the accent, and I think I might fit the Bill..... | Very married female seeking her own sweet husband for fun and games, cuddling by the fire and midnight skinny dips in the pool. Hurry, honey! |
| To the Scotsman: You know where to find me..... | SWF, 30, looking for bull dyke with shaved head. The rougher the better, baby! |
| BiWF 31, seeking kick-start mechanic devices for gratification purposes. Any size will do. Gasoline powered engines only. | To the Scottish-loving MWF: I'm on my way! Is the kettle on? You know how I like my tea...... please? |
| LWF, 32, wants a good hard seeing to from someone who really knows how to use her toys. Doms welcome. And a healthy interest in tit torture would be welcome. | To the Scotsman: It's ready for you, hot and sweet as always...... |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: Missing you already, will I see you tomorrow? | To the Scotsman: Just come round, you know I'll be here! |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: Why does your husband have to have the day off tomorrow? When can I see you again? | How about I get rid of him for the evening again? That okay? |
| Dear Scotsman and Scottish-loving MWF, I would lend you my Kalifornia King Waterbed but I think it's a bit too far to drive from Caledonia. | To the Scotsman: How about we go pick up that waterbed?? |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: Have you managed to sort anything out yet? Waiting to see you..... | To the Scotsman: He's harder to get rid of than ever today...... so sorry.... how about tomorrow? |
| Looking for the critter of my life! Lovelife that is! Seeking large master-obeying canine with a long slobbery tounge for animal companion...also searching for varied fun equipment! Tie me up, lick me to death! | Unmitigated slut seeks horny gigolo for fun nights of passion on rubber sheets. Guys with chest hair appreciated so I can wax it off and make you SCREAM! |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: This afternoon was amazing.... can I have a repeat performance tomorrow? :D | The night was sultry and you were sweaty. Remember the Sovlaka and Knish? SWF seeks her home cookin' mate for stirring up a pot of trouble again and again and again just like that night. You know where to find me..... |
| Sure I remember that night, SWF! Your cookin' buddy is also remembering a night with you, me, tabasco sauce, chocolate ice cream and the kitchen floor. I still have burns on my skin freezer burns and other ones..Ever since that night I get aroused everytime I hear the song, "Hey Good Lookin'" and am dreaming of a repeat right now, your ever-luvin' man.. | To the Scotsman: 2 o'clock sound okay? |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: I found us a cosy little club, right in the middle of Endsville to snuggle up in... won't you join me there? http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/endsville | To the Scotsman: Do we reallt need the club? Especially with the house to ourselves today.... |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: are we going to have to move house? We shall wait and see... | To the Scotsman: Hope not.... |
| SOF, 21, looking for honorable Western gentleman to teach me in the ways of the Western woman. I am fully educated as a geisha, am proficient at tea making, and love to fuck too. | MWF looking for large bullwhip and painful torture instruments to discipline out-of-line hubby with. Also in need of spiked boots and suggestions for best methods of making him apoligize. All suggestions welcome. |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: I am so sorry about this afternoon. Will you let me make it up to you? Please? | To the Scotsman: I understand. Of course you can make it up to me, and I'm sure you'll think of a way... Missing you right now. |
| To my sweet man, this VMWF forgives you for reading her emails and running the maid off. At least you kept the kids from totally destroying the house, after all the walls are still standing. Come on home and let's fool about in the kitchen again, the chocolate ice cream and tabasco sauce await you... | To the Scottish-loving MWF: How does a massage sound for starters? Will that help to make up for the mess I made yesterday? |
| To the Scotsman: I'll call you when he's gone out for the day.... | To the Scottish-loving MWF: Thanks for forgiving me, and I'm hoping we can carry on where we left off tomorrow. I'm going to miss you over the weekend. Wish I didn't have to head North.... |
| SWF, 8, looking for guy with cute ass who won't throw up on me when I kiss him. Preferably has his own treehouse and knows how to play truth or dare. | To the Scottish-loving MWF: Missing you already, and I swear I'll get the first train down from Scotland on Monday. Wish you were with me right now. |
| Unclefucka looking for uncle to fuck. You know I want you baby, so why fight it. | Sweet man anicipating tonight with his VMWF. Honey, iron the sheets, send the kids to the movies and get ready because the Viagra just kicked in and you are lookin' fine. |
| To the Scotsman: Missing you too, not sure if I want to be without you for almost a week.... come back to me soon. | To the Scottish-loving MWF: Monday's not so far away. Can't wait to see you again. |
| To the Scotsman: I know Minday isn't far away, but it seems like it is now.... And then I have to go away on Thursday.... doesn't seem fair at the moment. | MIB, 30ish, seeks alien fighting partner to stop the Edgarbug taking over the world. Will make you forget everything you knew before, just to be on the safe side. And yeah, I do have a neuralyzer. |
| Short, green skinned alien seeking young good-looking babes and boys for long nights spend probing and extracting sperm samples. Sickos need not apply... | To the Scottish-loving MWF: 48 hours and I'll be back with you..... |
| BiJewishFTransexualXian seeks same for Celebratory Rosh Hashana Mud Wrestling. | To the Scotsman: less than 24 hours and counting.... |
| How about I wear my clan kilt for you sometime this week? Maybe I can show you exactly what I keep under it..... | To the Scotsman: I hope that last message was from you to me? And yes, the kilt would be wonderful..... |
| DWF lookin' for cute lil Jewish fellar to have fun wit' Must habe tickets to all the Yankees games and hop real nice-like. Baby faces preferred an smart mouthed ones ring mah bell, baby..send me yore pichure to Gen. Del. at Buggletussle USA. | VMWF to Sweet Man, Honey you shot you scored it looks like. 8 1/2 months to go.... |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: I have the kilt with me today... wanna see what I keep in my sporran? | To the Scotsman: Can you wear your kilt more often please? I definitely approve.... |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: Thanks for a wonderful afternoon, see you in the morning? | To the Scotsman: Tomorrow morning is good on one condition - you wear your kilt again and let me play with your sporran... |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: you can play with more than just my sporran if you like...... | SWM whiney and looks gay seeking a woman, any woman desparate enough to go to bed with a plump little computer nerd like myself. No fatties or weirdos only women with the looks of super models need apply.... |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: Hope the sporran fitted the Bill for you today, would hate for you to think I was over the Hill..... | SWK 23 loves children and swinging. Please keep me in mind. BTW I have 40DD |
| SWK 23 loves children and swinging. Please keep me in mind. BTW I have 40DD | SWF seeking camera man to film exploits with. Hey VMWF knock off that dirty talk before I spank you. |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: missed you this weekend, I'm on my way now. | VMWF seeks Sweet man to help her discipline SWF looking for the camera man....be careful SWF or we will tell your mom... |
| To the Scotsman: any more trouble at your end? Wish you were here to protect me..... | SB seeking big, tall bottle of white wine and more stupid, drooly guys to fawn over her. |
| Slot A desperetely seeking Tab B. No BiGHMWBWJF need apply | VMWF seeks Sweet Man for some lovin'and industrial-sized bottle of Valiums for some stress-relief because the Prozac despenser at work is on the fritz again... Honey can we please send the kids to boarding school? |
| Fatty McButterpants seeks beautiful underwear model for playing video games, eating pizza and discussing the finer points of Star Trek. Matrimony possible but only if you consent to a Trekkie wedding ala' Skeezix | Fatty McButterpants seeks beautiful underwear model for playing video games, eating pizza and discussing the finer points of Star Trek. Matrimony possible but only if you consent to a Trekkie wedding ala' Skeezix |
| Handsome guy seeking beautiful woman for long walks in the rain, romantic dinners by the fire, soulful kisses and playing Dungeons and Dragons online. Only the primo chicks please | MWF seeking heavy duty narcotics and a Swedish massuese. Must have huge hands and a way with a pain-riddled body. A selection of scented lotions and hot towels would be nice as well. |
| Stomach seeking sexy, soothing Alka Seltzer or Pepto immediately. No cut-rate brands at all! | VMWF missing her MWF friend for long online convos and mutual hijinks. HUrry back!!! |
| SWM large but loveable seeks sexy, full-figured, strong-minded woman to initiate an "inexperienced" man into the ways and mysteries of Women and what they can do! Prefer Star Trek and Homicide fan w/genereous, sumptuous, pendulous cleavage! Will try not to sweat too much! | Timid, mousy, middle-aged DWF looking for handsome TV Doctor to take her away from all this. Big bankaccount, big dick nessessary, everything else negociable.. |
| Female in the grips of heavy-duty dope, Pink Floyd CD and memories seeks her old boyfriend, the only man to break her heart. Chris if you are out there let me know.."Oh how I wish you were here, we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year..How I wish you were here" Are you still as talented in Yoga and with your hands as in the Summer of Love? | Woman with o'erweening mojo seeks man, any man, with big big tackle and staminia for long hot steamy romps in the bedroom. Foot fetishes and bondage ok by me. |
| PTL! THNX.LRD: 'I Am' some 45&2/3 'Virginous' y.o., been Ps37:4,"Desireing", a Tall, blonde Wife,(er, Coital Sharer), for some 2&3/4 DECADES, the last 1&3/4 DECADES, where He has 'allowed me', to 'Out-Give Him!(<-eh?): just sop thayt He'd show me her! Is she U? PLERZE BE! | Looking for someone who can lead me through quellish. And maybe to a donut stand. Maybe both. |
| SWM, 32, looking for SWF with a fetish for referee uniforms or Lisa Swayzak. I'd prefer Lisa, but an SWF in a Foot Locker uniform will suffice. Must be blonde (naturally or unnatural, doesn't matter) and under 27. No fatsos or birthmarks the size of Michael Gorbachev. Must like wearing cowboy hats and tolerate being nicknamed "Wrangler Jane." | 26M Filipino lost in New York. Seeks someone to enslave me. I am all yours ...please get back to me. |
| Mulder seeking the Truth. Aliens of all kinds welcome for friendly "Experiments." Must be willing to get naked in front of Scully. Believe me, she won't mind.... | Surfing Girl seeks man to sex wax her board nice and slick. Also must be skilled in bikini maintance and lend a hand in the monthly waxing rituals. Helps if you have a tan, love manatees, rum and cocacola and are not afraid of jellyfish or friction burns from sex on the beach. |
| To the Scottish-loving MWF: not sure if you're still in town after all this time, but I've missed you! What are you up to tomorrow? | To the Scotsman: I've missed you too, but things are really awkward right now, as well you know. Come round in the morning and we can talk. |
| Married looking for a fling.......52..6'5".. 275 |