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Sarah, Miriam, Devorah, Hannah, Avigail, Huldah, Esther, Abraham, Yitzchak, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, Pinchas, Elkanah, Eli, Shmuel, Gad , Nosson, David, Shlomo, Aidoin, Micha, Ovadiah, Achiah, Ben, Azaryah Ben Oded, Haziel, Eliezer, Morishah, Hoshea, Amos, Micha, Elijah, Elisha, Yonah Ben Amitai, Yeshayah, Joel, Nachum, Habakuk, Zephaniah, Uriah, Jeremiah, Yehezkel, Daniel, Baruch, Neriah, Sharyah, Machsiyah, Hagai, Zecharyah, Malachi, Mordechai... ?
Of course you have. They are all prophets in the Bible. But alas, it is an incomplete list. For between the names of Yonah Ben Amitai and Yeshayah belongs that of Lisa Swayzak.
Posing as the Weather Woman for Channel 12. Lisa is a prophet of our Lord. But how, you may ask, could such a perky young person of the female persuasion actually speak the words of God.The answer is this:
After the Confluence of Horrors the first human voice that Caleb heard was that of Prophet Lisa spinning her nightly tales. Ahoy! On this great day Caleb heard the voice behind the voice. Lisa's true meaning. She spoke of rain coming and Caleb knew. He knew that she spoke the word of the Lord.
Every night we watch her forecast and discuss the deeper meaning of her words. For example, when she says "chance of showers" that means we should cleanse ourselves both spiritually and physically. Hence. that day shall be shampoo day!
It is considered a great honor to be given the daily responsibility of translating the weather to a higher purpose. But as a prospective member of our humble order, perhaps you can give it a try. Here is a recent forecast of Lisa's. See what you come up with and the best response will win 2 tickets to the premiere screening of the film that Ivy is making about us or your own copy of the home video version. Should said film fail to be viewable prior to Quellish (LIC!) an alternate prize shall be awarded. We will post the responses as we receive them and the winner will be announced on September 1st.
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