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I have taken some time to analyze each member of the Divine Order of Faithful Servants. I'll let my comments speak for themselves. |
Do I really need to explain this guy to you! I didn't think so. I will say this though. Sometimes I can't imagine what it would be like to go through life with a brain that has been washed so many times that it's like an old pair of Levis. The guy is practically catatonic most of the time, the only times he opens his mouth are either to spout absurd Bible quotations that for all I know he could be making up, or to guzzle that disgusting Tomato Clam Surprise he's always got. But then I start to wonder -- he never has to do any of the chores, he avoids having to speak to anyone, he didn't have to divest anything -- and I wonder, is he really crazy, or is he crazy like a fox? Regardless, I've never seen Doug's expression change. He's seen all of this before. Could he really believe that these guys are actually correct? He seems to think so. I guess we'll see.
Elizabeth fascinates me. She is the most loyal and devoted member of the group, she always has a smile on her face, but sometimes I sense that there is something underneath dying to get out. Her true personality is always simmering under the surface. She has a smile, and does what is expected of her, but she brims with emotions that threaten to burst out at any time. She can go from tears to ecstasy in a blink of an eye.She also seems to crave attention, but not in typical ways. It's all channeled through the goodness of the group. The other day she had an almost apoplectic fit upon hearing the voice of God.
She also seems more "religious" than the other members. She sees Caleb as more of a God than a leader. The rest of the group buys into the philosophies, but seems to be here because they don't really have anything better to do.
In many ways she is the most helpless of the group. She never learned to drive, she can't ride a bicycle, and I'd stake my life on the fact that she's never had an orgasm in her entire life. And with the way people around here look at her I'd say the trend will continue.
But I see Elizabeth as someone who just may blossom in the New World when she'll be required to do more than she ever had. I just hope she doesn't snap and kill us all first.
This guy scares the hell out of me. Even when he's speaking in a whisper I can sense a hatred, an anger that has no limits. Thank God he isn't bigger, otherwise he might really be frightening. Other than the mean nicknames he has for everyone, and the shirts (No sleeves most of the time, and if he does wear them he rolls a cigarette pack up in them. Who is he Schneider?), Isaac has one really bizzare characteristic: he is the first person to piss on everyone in the group, he'll scream and yell with more venom than you would think one person could have. But God forbid anyone outside of the group say anything negative about one of the members. I saw him throw his own shoe at a passing car because they insulted Kenneth's driving skills. He tried to bite a grocery clerk who made fun of their outfits. I guess he may hate everything about his friends, but at least they're his.
Kenneth is as loyal and devoted a servant as anyone has ever had. He seems to live only for Caleb's happiness. He does everything around here. Everyone else is pretty helpless, but Kenneth takes care of all the problems. I worry about him. He says he doesn't need to sleep until Quellish (if you think I'm saying "Let it Come", you're out of your skull), but that's still a long way off. I'm worried he's going to have some sort of stress breakdown. I'm telling you, this guy has some issues. I think he's obsessive-compulsive or something. He touches the iron to see if it's hot like 200 times. He can't go outside unless his shoelaces are tied perfectly. And this faith in Caleb is remarkable. He must be projecting back or something, because he takes every moronic thing that Caleb did as a child and turns it into something spiritual. Caleb seems like he was a pretty ordinary kid, but Kenneth thinks that because he had cooler Pez dispensers that it means he was ordained by God for a higher purpose. I wonder what will happen if the world doesn't end. It seems that Kenneth faith in Caleb is so unwavering that he may snap if anything Caleb says goes wrong.I don't want to make it seem that I don't like Kenneth, he's a pretty solid fellow. Everyone else can be a zombie, but Kenneth is the opposite. He's so hyperactive, always running around. He's the most helpful person to me, always lugging camera equipment and fetching stuff if I need it. Kenneth is the only one who seems to have a handle on everyone at all times. Caleb doesn't relate to the other members on a personal level, but Kenneth is hyper aware. He knows when Neville is drunk, he knows what Doug did before joining the group. He literally shaves the members. I saw him give Isaac a prostate exam. It wasn't pretty.
But that name thing bugs me out. How can you say Kenneth Thith with a straight face? Not possible. And while I don't think he has ever acted on it, I think his affection for Caleb goes beyond just thinking he's swell. I think he harbors a fantasy that one day Caleb will reciprocate the deep and emotional feelings that he clearly has.
Neville seems like the ultimate outsider in this band of outsiders. He always seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I've got to be honest, the guy is pretty insufferable. He's always tippling at the old nozzle if you know what I am trying to say. I don't know if it's his drinking that causes his outbursts, but I sure hope so. If it's just his personality he's got real problems.I always know that if I ever need to know the real scoop on something, I can just talk to Neville. He would tell me he wore ladies underwear if he thought it would help him gain acceptance.
I think he's a good guy at heart, as he really cares for everyone. He is extremely intelligent, he speaks and talks better than anyone else here. He can be very funny at times (sometimes even when he's trying to be). He's kind of like the Backstreet Boys, in that the first few times you deal with him it's pretty enjoyable. But after a while, you would rather shave off all of your skin with a carrot peeler than have to deal with him for one more second.
I've seen a pretty major change in Nicola since I've been here. At first I just couldn't understand how an absolutely gorgeous 17 year old girl could waste her time with this clearly bizarre group. But she really needs a father figure in her life and Caleb kind of is that for her. She keeps asking me all these questions about life in Hollywood and all these other things. Man, I've never even been to Hollywood. I was born in Endsville. When I first arrived she was as devout and devoted as anyone in the group. Ever since she's been able to see some other types of people she's changed. And I guess the thought of the possibility of Quellish (I'm not going to say it) happening so soon have made her think about what she's missing out there. Her studies have stopped, she is more and more restless. She is slowly learning more and more about what "real" teens are experiencing and is starting to turn a deaf ear on the stories of the River of Jordan to focus on things like the Creek of Dawson. She's a great kid and I really like spending time with her. And I gotta be honest, have you checked out the body on her. It's like something out of Penthouse Forum! In a way, I kind of hope the world does end and I'm there, with her as one of the only women.
As the most recent addition to the group Shawn is a bit more reserved about Caleb and the group. He seems to buy into the philosophies, but sometimes I detect a hint of a smile during prayer sessions. I like the kid though. He's different from the others, more able to -- well, deal with things.
He's definitely opened up a bit more since joining the group. I saw him wearing a dashiki the other day. The thing looked pretty comfortable. I wonder if you can get one at Sears?
Terry cracks me up. He's always so nervous, he twitches, he appears to be completely uncomfortable at living in his own skin and he has this annoying habit of saying "you know" all the time. And I can't honestly say that I trust him. He just seems like he has a habit of taking everything that might be good for him and ruining it. I've met his family and they are great people, I don't know why he resents them so much. It's not even as if they don't care for him. He's a pretty likeable guy. He seems to be the only one who doesn't understand that. The group members think he's doing a great job and he does a great impression of Johnny Carson. He's the only one that thinks he's a failure. I'm worried that he may do something rash. Of course I'm saying this about a guy who is a member of a cult that thinks the world is coming to an end and is building a huge goddamn ark, so I really don't know how much more rashness one can expect.
